Reasons for not wanting England to win the World Cup


1 Way too many Spurs players in the team – if Dawson gets called up that’ll be five. Imagine how awful crowing Spurs fans would be if half the winning England team were from the wrong end of the Seven Sisters Road.

2 Tories – A beaming Cameron tells the nation that England only ever win the World Cup when the Tories are in power (he won’t know as he is utterly clueless about sport). Kind of puts Katrina and The Waves Eurovision victory in the first week of Blair’s premiership in the shade. (mind you we are much more likely to win the World Cup than we ever are Eurovision)

3 The England team are so likeable – What with Cashley Cole, John ‘shag me best mate’s bird’ Terry and Wayne ‘grab a granny’ Rooney – what wonderful sporting role models we have

4 We’ll never hear Three Lions again – No more 30/40/50 years of hurt – actually maybe that is a good thing

5 The last England team won the World Cup without an Arsenal player – I know we might sign Joe Cole next week, but it would be awful to win it and not have a Gooner in the team

Can’t think of any more but that’ll do for now

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