The roots of every heavy metal band name explained!

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How do metal bands choose their monikers? No, not by smearing themselves with virgin’s blood and standing inside a chalk pentagon to wait for Satan to suggest one. Although funnily enough, that is how Keane did it…

No, there’s actually a fairly strict taxonomy of heavy metal band names, which is laid out marvellously in this chart. In brief, there are five basic categories: Death, Deadly Things, Religion, Animals, and Badass Misspellings. And under those are various subcategories – The Occult and Pleas For Help under Death, for example, or Biblical, Satanic and Pagan under Religion.

Every band name is covered, in short. Mastodon? They’re in the Animals–>Imaginary–>Extinct category. Sign Of The Beast? They’re in Religion–>Biblical–>Book Of Revelation. Sepultura? They’re under Badass Misspellings–>Foreign Sounding–>Actually Foreign. And so on. If you see yourself as the next metal gods, you HAVE to consult this chart first.

(via Duke Listens)

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