Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but The Smiths are reforming. This time it’s for Coachella 2009 in California. Well, that’s the rumour.
Let’s hope that it’s – to paraphrase a Smiths lyric – a miserable lie.
I am a Smiths fanatic, but I wouldn’t want to see them get back together.
Born in 1974, I was too young to see The Smiths in their heyday – they’d split up by the time I’d got into them – but, for me, that only added to their charm, appeal and mystique.
They released a handful of great studio albums and some compilations and then promptly split up, becoming one of the ultimate cult bands.
Unlike, say, The Velvet Underground, another cult favourite, they didn’t reform and play embarrassing gigs comprising inferior versions of their classic songs.
As Mozzer once sang in his song, ‘Get Off The Stage’, ‘You silly old man – You’re making a fool of yourself. In your misguided trousers with your mascara and your Fender guitar – you think you can arouse us?’
No-one wants to see rock acts who are past their sell-by date. As much as it hurts me to admit it, even Morrissey’s appearance at the 02 Wireless festival earlier this year was a pretty uninspiring affair – he looked like he was going through the motions, as did his backing band.
My mates who are older than me still talk fondly of the time when they saw The Smiths’s incendiary live shows. I just sit there wide-eyed in amazement and green with envy.
That does not mean that I want Mozzer, Marr, Joyce and Rourke to put their court cases behind them and get back onstage.
And even if I did, I wouldn’t want to see them play at an American festival. Surely it should be in their hometown of Manchester? America is not the world.
When I interviewed Johnny Marr a few years ago, he said that he would never get The Smiths back together.
At the end of the day, it all boils down to money. If The Smiths did reform, it would for be financial reasons, rather than for a love of the music – or each other – which is sad.
As The Smiths once said, ‘Money Changes Everything,’ but I’d rather they didn’t reform. Please, please, please let me get what I want.
P.S: I’d still go to watch them play, though – obviously.